A lingering affection

While adoring the shadowed image of you was a delight, there is even more excitement in steeling my heart against your gentle protestations. Wicked anticipation dwells deep within the flickering embers of what was once my passion- you should have seen the fire you lit within me!

Cruel is my heart and crueler still will be my words, while you dally with other girls, sweetly in that casual summer fashion even as snow cools on our porches. Yet even in my cruelty, I must be kind because how may I forget?

Forget our first words to each other, the unsure light in your eyes, your tenderness blazing against the bleak and shadowed skies– it is impossible.

Impossible is my attention; hard to keep and fleeing even as it is captured. You left me and I left you, seeking pleasures far sweeter than you.

I have become ruthless; my heart cut out its image of you before ‘goodbye (for a lifetime)’ was even said. And now when someone mentions your name, I feel nothing but a lingering affection.

Give it up

And so today I give it up, all my passion (what little there is of it) and my obsession (immeasurable in its depths). It’s not sudden, not to me, it is a frayed ribbon flapping free in the wind, unravelling with every second ticking past and I watch it with a little regret. What use has regret in this situation though? It cannot heal, it cannot fuel my satisfaction, my disappointed ambition dashed to pieces on the shore.

There will be others, but I don’t think they would be half as beautiful as your reflection in my eyes. The way that your hands enveloped mine even as I stretched them wide, the roughness of your palms against mine!

It was a very sweet infatuation. We made nothing but good memories.

Delicious are your words

Why do I find myself
Grasping at straws for
Your sweet attention?

Still my heart is warm
And squirms under your notice;
cold glaciers in the freezing Arctic.

Beauty and charm cannot enchant
A rock. In vicious battle,
Interest is won and lost

And won again, delicious
Are your words for an hour
Until I crave them once more.

So I want him enough to think up dull strategies with friends, but he’s different from what I know, what I’m comfortable with, I don’t think he’d fall to these low tricks. Excitement fades and ignites at strange hours in the day.