A tender manipulation

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It’s not even that I love him,
But I miss the feeling of
Being in a swooning love.

In a tender manipulation,
Our hearts are choking the life
Out of our smiles, our beauty.

Are we drowning each other
in a sea of insecurity,
Too afraid, too cowardly.

Or am I mistaking friendly
Indifference for happy, happy love?

I’m getting to be quite cold hearted about this new boy. Once again I’ve burnt myself out on someone new without getting to genuinely know him, which is terrible of me. One day he might start caring, and I’ll start withdrawing. Why can’t I ever be happy with what I have? My life is always filled with happy things, and that is perhaps the problem. I lose interest too quickly, even before his interest has even taken hold! Calm down, cross your fingers and hope for the best. And if it doesn’t happen, well, you did try your best.

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