Been a while

I just listened to a really inspiring guy on youtube and a lot of the things he said made sense, so I just wanted to write down everything I feel before I forget. He talked a lot about personality and how it changes during high school, and I want to take a good hard look at my own personality and make some adjustments for the better.

To be honest, I’m kind of a complete douche. I don’t know why I’ve cultivated such a depressing image of myself, or why i want to appear really bad ass when I’m honestly not. I can’t pull it off at all, but I do want to give the impression that I can take whatever people throw at me and not crumple like tissue paper. I’m much better at pretending to be sincerely nice, but apparently nice people finish last. I would prefer not to. But pretending to be tough really isn’t for me. I’m not sure if I actually even have an actual personality that is what I am; I’m just whatever I want to be at that time. And what I really want to be, at least I think I do, is to be happy most of the time, whenever I can. The first step to being happy is by pretending to be happy, despite whatever else is going on at the time. I’ve found sometimes that if I imagine myself infused with euphoria, I feel a great surge in Mood and am overall elevated to happier thoughts.

I just read a post on a blog, talking about someone’s personal epiphany on their own personality, and some of the things she did to improve herself sound really good. She mentioned filling in awkward silences by posing questions to other people and listening, as in genuinely listening, to their answers. I should try that on saturday.

So this just about wraps up my post for the month! Bye wordpress ❤

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